A programmer is going out for a stroll one evening. His wife asks him to swing by the store and pick up a gallon of milk, and if they had eggs, to get a dozen. He returned with twelve gallons of milk and said “They had eggs.”
broadway antique market
i bought this telegram, because it’s probably the best thing i’ve ever seen. i’m framing it. it cost $1.
oh my god the response email converts the description to all caps and
om f g the maintenance guy just showed up like “you have a problem with your sink? and also a… fan… returning to the mothership.” and i was like ‘uh’ and then he just grinned and was like ‘yeah, i got the call and the guy on the phone just goes ‘i’ve got to read you this one.”
“Killed 99 bears”
a fact that if actually accomplished, should be put on a tombstone.
My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear?
Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?
The bears made that tombstone.
A warning, and a prayer.
That he really, truely stays down.
This is too badass not to reblog.
Reblog for last comment
you can see the exact moment where it realizes how bad it fucked up
I have been sitting here giggling at this for 5 minutes straight
sleek and elegant predator right here yo
This guy wants to be mad but can’t
This legitimately made me laugh out loud
I have been laughing for like 10 minutes
im at my church and im using the wifi here and i look to see what my connections are and